


And Shut the Door on Your Way Out

by LemonKith



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:44:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonKith/pseuds/LemonKith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>O'Malley has finally grown tired of living in Doc's body. Will he really be leaving it for good?</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Shut the Door on Your Way Out

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on a prompt request I received: 'how about some o'malley/doc with the pros and cons of sharing doc's body?' I hope they like it; it turned out a bit longer than expected.
> 
> This story is set during season 4 whilst they're staying at the Island Fortress together, established relationship. I always imagined Wyoming stayed there with them for a bit whilst he wasn't on-screen either which is why they mention him.  
> O'Malley speaks in bold to make it easier to tell their lines apart in certain places.  
> Lopez's parts are in brackets to signal they should be in Spanish.

“-I mean, there’s a reason bees make honey, you know. They need it to feed their young, or something... Okay, so I don’t actually know what it’s for but it’s still stealing from them and that’s-“

 **“That’s it!”** O’Malley snarled angrily, slamming their hands which had been traitorously following Doc’s commands down on the stone they were sitting on. **“I can’t take any more of your foolish irritance! I’m getting my own body!”**

“It’s ‘irritancy’,” Doc corrected, “and what? You want a different body? Why?” He couldn’t believe that he actually sounded a little appalled at the idea.

 **“Because I am sick to death of your endless complaints anytime that I want to eat something animal-based!”** O’Malley cried, again thumping their fists down. It had only been a piece of honey cake this time, not even part of an animal, and still the fool complained! **“And I can’t even die, or get sick. A good thing too,”** he went on, with a bit of a malicious chuckle, **“or else I might have to be subjected to your medical incompetence.”**

“Hey! I’m not _that_ incompetent.” Doc pouted their lips. “I helped Reggie with that nosebleed after you punched him in the face with my fist-”

**“Enough! There are too many cons to sharing this body any longer!”**

_Con 1: Not being allowed to feed the body animal-derived products – You trying to feed the body animal products – Getting ranted at by the fool when I ultimately succeed._

“There are some pros too...” Doc weakly protested, not quite sure why but he didn’t want to be considered undesirable on the AI real estate market either.

 **“Such as?”** the AI drawled.

“Um, well...” Doc said whilst he inspected his slightly bruised hands. Did O’Malley always have to be so violent with them?

_Con 2: O’Malley wanting to use the body for violent purposes, and often getting it damaged when he does – The Pussyfest whining whenever I have a bit of violent fun._

Oh wait. He was meant to be thinking of pros.

“...The sex is pretty good?” Doc finally offered the most obvious he could think of.

 **“Hmph.”** O’Malley sulked. **“...I’ll have to give you that, my little plaything.”**

_Pro 1: The sex is very good. Very good indeed._

**“Yours _is_ the only body that’s been any fun to play with. It’s not something I had the pleasure of in Tex or the blue idiot- Mwahaha! _Pleasure of!_ That’s genius!” **O’Malley grinned manically at his own pun as he leapt down from the large rock at the far side of the beach and began sprinting back towards the tower.

_Pro 2: The body runs extremely fast and has excellent stamina._

“Where are we going?” Doc asked, despite there being practically nowhere to go on this island except the main fortress.

 **“We’re going to see Lopez, you fool. Lopez!”** O’Malley kept shouting the robot’s name louder each time as they approached. **“Lopez, my friend; where are you?”**

(“Here,”) said Lopez, sat on a chair at their kitchen table. A newspaper was spread out open on the tabletop before him despite the fact he was a head sat on a chair and too low to read it. (“And we are not friends.”)

 **“Lopez, my good friend,”** O’Malley addressed him obliviously. **“I need a favour from you.”**

(“Why would I do you any more favours? Working with you never ends well for me.”)

**“Excellent! So glad you agree!”**

Lopez sighed in Spanish.

 **“I need you to build me a body of my own. I can’t deal with sharing this fool’s any longer!”** Strutting around as he commanded, O’Malley picked up the newspaper from where Lopez wasn’t reading it, frowning over the contents and ignoring Doc’s pleas to turn to the lifestyle section.

(“If I could build a body, I would have built one for myself and left long ago,”) Lopez said, still just staring under the table. (“We do not have any more parts for robot bodies.”)

 **“Parts are no matter! I can get you all the parts you need,** ” O’Malley assured him. **“And by express delivery as well. Mwahaha, expedited!”**  
“You’d better not be planning to use our 30-day free trial period of Amazon Prime on this; I’m saving that for emergency holiday shopping.”  
**“Oh, shut up, you fool. You don’t have anyone to buy presents for anyway.”** Doc did shut up and slink to the back of their mind, muttering something about Agent Wyoming. **“So, will you build a magnificent new body for me then?”**

Lopez paused for a moment, then finally answered, “Si.”

 **“Haha! Excellent! We’ll begin at once!”** O’Malley pointed away dramatically. **“To the computer of doom, and the internet shop of malignant devastation!”**  
“I know their tax procedures aren’t really that ethical but I don’t think Amazon counts as malignant-”  
**“Oh, shut up.”**

~#~

It took a few days for the parts to arrive, even by express delivery-

“Why are you only giving them a 2-star review, O’Malley?”  
**“Because I’m evil; evil doesn’t give nice reviews.”**

-and even when it did, it was still going to take another few days for Lopez to build it, however he managed that.

So that meant another week stuck in the foolish medic’s body, another week to appreciate all of the things he couldn’t wait to leave behind.

“O’Malley! We’re hungry! Stop forgetting to feed my body!”

 _Con_ _3: The body needs feeding at least three times a day, and water, and exercise! It’s like having a pet! And having to do things like excrete is disgusting – O’Malley not looking after the body properly. And having to do those things with someone present isn’t any better!_

 **“I ate a sandwich earlier. Shut up and let me work.”**  
“You ate two slices of bread with nothing between them! That’s not a sandwich! And we’ve only had 2 of our 5-a-day so far-”  
**“You’re forgetting the jelly beans I had this morning; most of those were fruit-flavoured. And there’s nothing you’ll let me put in a sandwich! Not even butter-!”**  
“They don’t count! And of course I won’t; I’m vegan-!”  
**“They ought to count; they were delicious! And being vegan is foolish, you fool!”**

_Con 4: Completely incompatible lifestyle choices – Or put more simply, the medic is a fool!_

~#~

O’Malley took to counting down the mornings until he would get to leave this irritating vessel and no longer have to put up with Doc’s morning yoga routines-

_Pro 3: The body is very delightfully flexible._

-but could instead instigate his own morning routines of fighting practice and strength-building.

_Con 5: But it’s also pathetically weak and completely untrained for fighting._

~#~

He also spent much of his wasted time, when Doc needed to cook or foolishness like that, making wonderfully diabolical plans for when he was finally free.

While the human was stirring his tomato and couscous stew with one hand, O’Malley dragged a pad and pen over with the other to write down his latest evil agenda.

_Pro 4: The body is ambidextrous, since the pathetic weakling didn’t like to discriminate against either of his hands, or left-handed people, so trained them both._

Doc hummed disapprovingly at what O’Malley was writing but let him continue. Each to their own, after all, even if he wasn’t particularly fond of what the Rage AI called his own. Why couldn’t he have been infected by an AI that desired universal peace, or just liked flower-arranging for instance? It would have been much better for them both. Being tolerant of O’Malley’s intolerance all the time was exhausting...

Having to wait for the medic to do things was pretty tiresome as well. Often he didn’t bother with the waiting-

_Pro 5: My little fool is incredibly easy to push out of control._

-but not tonight. O’Malley rather liked this meal once it was served up because it looked so much like blended guts, and reminding DuFresne of that was always very amusing.

~#~

O’Malley bit into the soft bit of flesh just above Doc’s collarbone, forcing an arm underneath his prey to lift Doc’s hips and fuck into him harder. His little pet was making those gasping whimpers that meant he was close and that made O’Malley’s electric blood sing.

Gentle, effeminate fingers were clutching at clumps of grass beneath them desperately as his back arched further forward and upwards-facing dog was put to a completely non-standard use. All it took was a little more of O’Malley’s hard canines and merciless slamming into his ass to-

“O’Malley!”

Doc received a nip of praise higher up, near his hairline, before he was allowed to slump down. He knew what the AI liked to hear every time and was always very dutiful about screaming it out.

Easing slightly, O’Malley continued using the pliant, spent body beneath him a little longer. As an AI he couldn’t technically orgasm, just feel a generalised sense of pleasure, but eventually when his enjoyment began to wane he pretended to come anyway. They could do anything they liked in the mindscape, after all, and the idea of filling DuFresne with his seed was a pleasure unto itself.

The fun was over for tonight then. Finished, O’Malley pulled out and sat back showing no signs of exhaustion or exertion, unlike the human who had fallen asleep inside and outside of their mind.

O’Malley wanted to reiterate that first pro – The sex _was_ really good. Rage hadn’t ever thought he’d care for anything except destruction and violence but none of the AI had been able to resist finding other interests. He had music and sex himself; they didn’t damage his image too badly. Besides, it was about the power for him, the games they could play.

And DuFresne always loved a good game.

O’Malley had been hunting him through their mindscape tonight, running him down and pouncing – Nothing non-consensual, just a perverse form of pet-play really – and the hunt had ended here very enjoyably.

His hand hovered above Doc’s body, still laid out where it had been fucked in the grass, now curling up slightly onto one side in sleep. O’Malley hesitated, settling for just patting the ass he always enjoyed himself so much with.

_Pro 6: The little medic’s not that bad-looking._

Doc was slender and effeminate but all that yoga and Tai-chi, or whatever, had left him hard in all the right places. Even if it wasn’t quite like his own body, there were much worse ones to wear in the physical world.

Thinking of, he’d have to make sure Lopez included certain _functions_ in his new body. He certainly wasn’t giving this up and doing it with real bodies would be just as good as in here.

 **“Then again...”** In here they could summon to mind whatever sort of setting and toys they wanted at will – Or he could at least. The human didn’t seem to want to take advantage of his own imagination. Or alternatively, he could play with DuFresne’s body from the inside-out, touching himself in places that made the innocent little fool blush. He could also give it any sensation he wanted as an AI integrated into his host’s mind. Showing Doc an hallucination of him on the outside for sex wasn’t O’Malley’s preference compared to in here but hallucinations of pain or restraint? Turning on every single nerve in DuFresne’s body with pleasure at once and watching him reach climax in three seconds flat?

A shame. He was going to miss those.

_Pro 7: All of the above._

O’Malley got up from the ground and walked out of the playground area, kicking the roundabout along the way for good measure.

The sleepless AI wandered out into the corridor of Doc’s mind and down, stopping in the high school nurse’s office. Here he sifted through memories of a 15-year-old Frank DuFresne sitting in the corner eating lunch alone over a first aid book, glancing up to see other teens chatting, playing cards, making out and averting his eyes when he knew he couldn’t join in. Then coming here to the nurse’s office, to the one person who would do all those things with him his classmates wouldn’t- Except the making out part. And amusingly, the human regretted that.

A host with unobtainable teenage-crushes; you couldn’t get more foolish.

But Doc’s mind was a warm sort of foolish. O’Malley supposed that was where the, **“Ugh,”** _Saturday morning cartoon villain_ act came from, as those fools called it.

It was pathetic, and you knew it would be pathetic, but yet you still couldn’t stop coming back every week.

The other mindscapes O’Malley had known had been nothing like this: Tex’s was the corridors of the Mother of Invention, only filled with memories of Allison’s life as the Alpha remembered it in each of the rooms. The blue idiot had some plain, grey abomination of boredom which was confusingly put together at that.

But Doc had a short corridor of rooms: The apartment he had moved into with his grandmother after his mother died of cancer when he was 4; the playground where he had made his first, short-lived friend at 6 years old by helping a girl who got a nosebleed; this nurse’s office from his high school where he had spent all his free time then because the nurse let him help and talked with him. All the places that had made him a medic, of all the things that could have been important to him.

There was also a fourth room now, this island fortress where he had ridiculously fond memories of Agent Wyoming and O’Malley himself.

Snorting derisively, O’Malley got up to head back.

He growled and swatted at the dust motes in the corridor on the way back as if that would help alleviate the annoying feel of this place-

_Con 6: The medic’s weird mindscape has a highly irritating, pervasive loneliness to it wherever you go. And it’s too pretty to house the future, all-powerful ruler of the universe!_

-but he also had to concede that-

_Pro 8: Infuriating though the place may be, the memories lying within are fascinatingly sad, little things._

O’Malley came to a stop beside the representation of Doc in their mind. Still sleeping, only now it was fully clothed again and behaving like a daydreaming kitten.

 **“Get up, you fool.”** O’Malley kicked him awake, and the physical body jerked awake outside too.

“H...uh?” Doc woke up slowly, blinking his eyes and looking around the deserted, night-time playground. Waking up from a dream into what was effectively a very vivid daydream was hardly the easiest thing to do without confusion.

 **“Wake up. We need to talk,”** O’Malley snapped impatiently, taking a seat on a nearby swing and trying to look regally tyrannical doing so.

“All... All right,” Doc said, and then yawned. “What are we talking about, O’Malley?”

Ugh. He was always so insufferably willing about everything. **“Do you want me gone?”**

“Gone? What, out of my head?” Doc hesitated a little, considering it.

O’Malley opened up a direct channel to hear the human’s thoughts. Sadly it would be two-way but he could deal with that.

_Being with him?_

For Doc it meant never being alone, but not always being in control of his own body and life anymore.

For O’Malley it meant having a body, but having to put up with Doc in it.

“Hey!”

 **“Oh, shut up. You’re a nuisance,”** O’Malley said, not looking him in the eye. **“And a fool.”** His hands fidgeted, clenching and unclenching thoughtfully. **“...And there’s something we need to do.”**

Back outside their mind, O’Malley took control. Doc sleepily went along for the ride, letting his body be dragged out of their makeshift bed and off into the rest of the fortress. How O’Malley stopped the body from shivering when they were just in pyjamas and it was this cold he never knew.

They arrived in the room Lopez had been using as a workshop. A robotic body stood in the centre, practically finished except for the head it was still missing. There didn’t seem to be one around, but that wasn’t what they were here for.

“Mal...?” Doc yawned as their body moved according to the AI’s orders. “What are you doing, O’Malley? Wait! What are you doing with-?!”

 **“I’m putting this where it belongs!”** O’Malley had picked up the robot body, struggling slightly with the weight in this weak body, and carried it over to edge of the base, casting it off down the sides over the rocks where they watched it tumble further down the beach into the sea.

“...It doesn’t belong in the sea, you know,” Doc told him.

**“Shut up.”**

“So you’re staying?” Doc couldn’t help but sound a little happy.

 **“We’re going back to sleep.”** O’Malley masterfully avoided giving a direct answer.

“Aw! I knew you wouldn’t leave me really, buddy!”

**“Your body has marginally more pros than cons, that’s all, DuFresne. If I find another downside, you’ll be on the dung heap as soon as Lopez has built me another body.”**

“Someone sounds cranky! I think we need to go back to bed.”

**“That’s precisely where I told you we’re already going, you fool. Agh, I’m beginning to regret throwing that body out already...”**

~#~

Walking into the kitchen the next morning, together in one body, Doc and O’Malley found Lopez’s head sat on the tabletop facing the entrance. (“The body,”) he began. (“Where is the body I was making?”)

 **“I’ve decided I shan’t be needing that foolish thing anymore. I’m staying in the medic,”** O’Malley explained as Doc poured out cereal and dried fruit into a bowl. **“We had mango yesterday; I want cranberries today.”**

“All right, all right...” Doc replied placatingly, reaching for a different packet.

(“Stop selectively translating,”) Lopez continued. (“Where is my body?”)

 **“I threw it in the sea,”** O’Malley finally answered him. **“Garbage day isn’t until next Tuesday and I didn’t want it cluttering up the place.”**  
“I wish you’d kept it; it would have been really good for feng shui if we put it in one of the South-side rooms.”  
**“Yes, but I need those for storing all my doomsday devices. Honestly, DuFresne; it’s as if you don’t even care about conquering the universe!”**

Lopez sat. Lopez listened to their idiotic, ridiculous bickering day-in and day-out. And Lopez said, (“Stay in one body. I hope it makes it easier for someone to kill you both together.”)

**Author's Note:**

> There ought to be far more for this pairing...


End file.
